Will it ever end?

He is there again today. He went out to the dumpster with an escort twice. The first time he was putting trash in to dumpster and his co-worker was putting boxes into recycle bin. This was about 3:45. I was at my kitchen sink washing the chicken to get it ready to cook for dinner. When his co-worker wasn’t looking he flipped me off. Even with an escort he does his crap. He just makes sure that he isn’t seen. The second time I was sitting at my computer playing a game. When I heard banging on the dumpster I saw him, but didn’t see his co-worker at first. I saw his co-worker when I left to go into another room until they were done.

For nearly three years I have barricaded myself in my home in fear of him. When the no contact order expired in November of 2011 I slowly increased the hiding in my home. In January I stopped going to any part of my house that faced the back of 7-11 when I knew or thought he was there. Two months ago I started going to the rooms I had stopped going to. Now I feel like I have to hide out in my living room all the time. I stopped sleeping in my bedroom because he would bang on the dumpster waking me up at night. I now sleep on the couch in the living room. I can’t live like this!

Tomorrow night I have my support group meeting. I will talk about all of the things that have happened. I have talked to crisis hot line and that helped some. It made me feel good until I saw him again. I just wish he would leave me alone!