Back Down to the bottom!

I am not having a good day today. All the hard work I have done in getting myself picked up from when Geoff was in my life is gone now. I am back down to where I was from when he was in my life. The not eating, being able to sleep and the daily multiple anxiety attacks have come back. All of this just from him making contact with me. I had the first one right after my daughter told me that Geoff had cornered her and told her that he wants for me to call him so we could have lunch.

He is trying to use her to get to me and it isn’t going to work. I am not going to allow back into our lives. Just by talking to him I knew right then that nothing would be different. I knew that before, but talking to him just confirmed it even more. After all this time he thought he could just treat me the same. There were no apologies, no acknowledging the pain he caused. It went straight to him twisting my words around and accusing of making stuff up. He has warned me several times that he could do anything he wants to me and no one will believe me. That he has all of that taken care of. That each time I say anything it will be because I am crazy and just out to get him.
 
I was getting to the point to where I was brave enough to just be able to take one step out of my front door alone again. For the longest time I refused to go anyplace alone. Not even to a store to make fast trip to pick up a few things. I won’t go anyplace alone. The only time I will leave my house alone it is if I am going to go and meet someone. I will make myself a few minutes late, just so I am not alone anyplace waiting for them. I want my life back! I can’t live like this anymore. Geoff as stolen me from myself!